Let’s Get Medical

Thank you for all the words of encouragement yesterday. It meant the world to me. Truly. I want to explain what medically is going on. The reason my entire hand is in a cast is because I severed the flexor tendon AND the nerve in my pinky finger. But the muscle that controls the tendon (and movement) is in the wrist. Then the tendons extend from the wrists to the fingers. So in an effort to not do further damage AND to heal post surgery I can not move the wrist or my other4 fingers and engage that muscle. Pre-surgery it will cause the tendon to possibly continue falling further down my finger which will only increase the surgery incision. Post surgery it is important to continue to keep that wrist and fingers still because the newly repaired tendon will be tight and any wrist movement engages that muscle and increases the likelihood of retearing the tendon, which requires surgery again. Occupational therapy will strengthen the newly attached tendon and hopefully after 8-10 weeks the cast can come off.

So that is why I am losing use of my left hand. As for working out, the OT said 4 weeks MINIMUM off because this is major hand trauma that will be very swollen. Exercise and sweat will only increase the swelling. The hand also MUST be elevated at all times for at least those 4 weeks. Then she said, depending on my progress we “will see.” Hum. But I will be working out as soon as I am approved.

I have another doctor’s appointment today at 11:00am and AGAIN PLEASE PRAY THAT I CAN HAVE SURGERY ON FRIDAY INSTEAD OF MONDAY! The sooner the better!!

So let’s be real here. I am totally crushed. There, I am. I mean losing the use of my hand is tough. This entire post was written with one hand…see how much I love you guys. I kid. I kid. But really basic things we do everyday take 2 arms and I am definitely humbled. But stubborn and I have been driving Keith nuts by all the things I refuse to let him help me with. Also the not working out part is totally freaking me out. I will be 100% honest, I am terrified I am going balloon up and gain tons of weight. Now logically I know that is not true. I mean I eat really well and I know that is more than half the battle. But emotionally it is a different story. Emotionally I am scared. I guess it is just hard to accept that less than 3 months ago I was running 15 miles with ease and now I have a bum knee and no use of my left arm. I am just floored at how quickly things can change. It is truly humbling.

Thank you for letting me be honest and thank you for letting me express my fears and tell you my thoughts. I struggle with feeling selfish because I know so many people have it a lot worse than me. I know that. But sometimes I think everyone should be able to say, “THIS SUCKS.”

Okay guys…please just hope for another good appointment today and for surgery tomorrow. From everything I have heard this is going to get worse before it gets better. After surgery it is upposed to be pretty painful! 😦 But at least it is on the road to recovery….I will be back with updates. Love you guys!

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41 Responses

  1. I am definitely thining about you and sending good, good, good vibes your way!!! I’m hoping and praying for Friday surgery– I know every day counts!

    You’re right– having two hands is something almost all of us take SO for granted, and never think about how difficult it would be to have that taken away.

  2. I really hope you will get the surgery on Friday!! I will do a “surgery-dance” for you 🙂 In order to make the surgery happen on Fri.

    Five years ago I had a major surgery to my belly and after the surgery I couldn’t get up from the bed, go to toilet, turn around in the bed, etc. by myself for 2 weeks!!! Those experiences really make one appreciate normal life.

    I understand that you are freaked out about the work out break. It will be hard emotionally (it’s like stopping using drugs, body is used to endorphins every day). I didn’t go up in weight in 2 months but my body did become softer 😦 Now it’s hard work to get the muscels back.

    Lot’s of love and hugs!!!

  3. So so sorry you are going through this. I will keep you in my prayers. And don’t worry, I promise you well get used to being one-handed before you know it. Once you are all healed up you will be like, why do I need 2 of these?

  4. You have every right to scream and shout “this sucks” and even stomp your feet! I know it doesn’t always help when everyone tells you it’ll all be ok, but you are strong and you’re a fighter so my guess is that in the end (even 10 wks down) it really will be ok one way or another b/c you’ll see to it.

  5. You know what, it does suck. I’m so sorry Kelly. Feel free to vent to me in an email if you need to!

  6. This sucks. I’m so sorry you’re going through it. I really hope they can get you in early and onto the road to recovery very soon. And I know you fear it, but you won’t balloon with those weeks off. Sure, you’ll have to still eat healthy but you’re a skinny minny–you won’t suddenly become overweight. Thanks for being so honest, though. This hits home more than you know.

  7. Hang in there Kelly! Lots of prayers going up for you. YOU ARE STRONG! YOU ARE AMAZING! YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS! Lean on Keith – that’s what our hubbies are for…in sickness & in health! 🙂 Hope today is a better day. Lots of hugs, Jamie

  8. The situation sucks and you are completely justified in saying it and feeling it. I think any of us would feel similarly. You are smart and strong and I’m sure that you will do a great job taking care of your body and getting back to your best. Meanwhile, I’m sure there will be some difficult days without the release of exercise. if you need to talk, send and email. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

  9. It does suck and you deserve to say so! I hope you get the Friday surgery. Hopefully it will heal fast..since you’re healthy and in shape, maybe it won’t take as long. I feel like the med staff gives the worse case scenario a lot of times.

  10. That really DOES suck. Vent as much as you need. I’m sure you can find creative ways to keep exercising through all of this though! Maybe yoga or something like that? I don’t know. I can’t even imagine writing this comment with one hand. You go girl for writing that whole post by yourself! I definitely would have been asking someone to help!

    I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you!

  11. Very good informative post – and Bingo! – hit the nail on the head – people always wonder why “just” hurting/injuring a finger can be so debilitating…were all “connected” in the body.

    Totally allowed to say This Sucks. We all say it about even the stupidest things that’s for sure – so this is definitely warranted.

    Do NOT go thinking about your weight – that is not a good mindset to get into at all. Just focus on what you CAN do and new things you can try with your time – more work? reading, writing, …sailing…? 😉 LOL who knows!

  12. I am so sorry you’re going through this. I am sending prayers and well wishes for a quick recovery.

    There is no way you’re body will let you “balloon” up. It’s fighting this injury and keeping busy.

    Focus on getting better, you’re body needs rest to heal.

    HUGS!

  13. I am sending oh so many “surgery on Friday” vibes your way Kelly!

  14. Good luck and I hope you get the surgery on Friday!!!

  15. I am so praying for Friday!!! Humbling is such a great word for it. I am the worst at having people do things “for” me! Let’s be honest, what girl wants her husband to do her hair for her? Headbands and pony tails! Keep your chin up sweetie! You are one tough cookie! Remember that! Hugs and I hope today goes well!!!

  16. Oh I will be praying for you – I know this is awful for you ;(
    I am an occupational therapy assistant (COTA)
    But wk in geriatrics, not in hand therapy – hand therapy for OTs requires all sorts of addlt specialized Study – very detailed!!!
    Anyway I hope you get your surgery scheduled fast and get your therapy and healing underway- ;( poor thing – all in the name of
    Cooking great food ….

  17. We all love you Kelly! You are SUCH a strong person! This will probably be hard, but it looks like you have lots of people sending prayers for you! Now you get to look forward to when you will get to work out and hopefully by then you have given your knee plenty of time to heal as well. Hang in there 🙂

  18. Head up and stay the strong Kelly we all know that you are! From all the hundreds of comments, you obviously have a plethora of peeps praying for you. And I’m one of them. You’re going to be alright! Things happen, it’s life! It’s ups and it’s downs. But it’s getting through both of them that makes us who we are. (Cheesy, but so true!) And don’t ever feel shame for having to rely on Keith a little more than you typically do. That’s what love is 🙂

  19. Oh kelly – I really hope that you can have surgery soon and get on the road to a full recovery. I think you sound like you are handling these recent challenges really well, better than I would be. I’m wishing you all the best and hope you’re not in too much pain.

  20. Keeping my fingers crossed that you get to have surgery tomorrow! I think you’re handling this a lot better than I would be!

  21. It does totally suck. I am really sorry this is life for you at the moment. Good luck with the doctor today. Praying for your surgery to be scheduled sooner than later!! You are in such great shape, you won’t balloon up in the few weeks you can’t work out. Don’t worry about that at this point – focus on healing that hand! You will make it and come back stronger than ever.

  22. You will definitely not blow up and gain lots of weight. You are going into this break from working out with an amazing metabolism and great muscles that will keep your body burning calories even at rest. People who gain weight when not working out are people who emotionally eat on fast food, donuts, and gallons of ice cream. You are not that kind of person. You will be just fine. Promise!!!!! 🙂

  23. I totally hear you on the emotional fear associated with not working out and gaining weight. I was completely sidelined for 10 weeks after a surgery and thoughts of getting fat and mushy consumed my thoughts day and night. Now that those days are behind me, I realize that I was being irrational. Healthy eating is MORE than half of the battle…it is 80%! And, you have muscles which naturally keeps your metabolism firing. I know you know all of this, but just don’t let it stray from your mind. You are so beautiful and so fit and that is NOT because you run 15 miles…it is because you eat healthy foods, don’t sleep away countless your life, and have good genes. You will conquer this, just as you successfully conquer everything that comes your way!

  24. i’m praying for you sweetie. you are such a strong, amazing woman, and an inspiration! don’t let this define you!

  25. Well, I can’t exercise at all (and I once was a big big runner ). So, I am currently in my “hell”.

    I really wish you wouldn’t worry about weight though. I mean the body can actually take in a ton more than you even probably thing -allow your metabolism to work efficiently. You need the fuel to repair and heal and rest your body regardless. And food is for social and pleasure purposes. Eat and don’t obsess. Enjoy.
    (plus, i wish people would realize that even gaining extra-extra pounds,,,,it makes u no less pretty or capable…struggling to be a “certain way” is just too mind-numbing).

    Hang in there and ACCEPT help from Keith!!

  26. Hang in there Kelly! In the long run, everything will be fine and you will be back to your normal life in a few months. Just think of this as a little bump in the road that you are going to drive right over.

  27. My fingers, toes, legs, arms, and everything else is crossed for surgery tomorrow!! I know how much it sucks that you can’t do much, but keep thinking if you truly rest & heal, you’ll be back to your old self even sooner!! Runners are stubborn by nature 🙂

  28. good luck with your appointment!! and the surgery! hope it all goes well.

  29. Oh girl! I just caught up on your posts and I’m so sorry about your finger. You poor thing. I’m praying for surgery tomorrow and a speddy recovery.

  30. You are TOTALLY allowed to say “this sucks” every once in awhile and feel down. It’s only natural, girl! When people (like myself) bring to your attention that it could be worse, they’re just trying to help. Keeping my fingers crossed you can go in tomorrow!

  31. Aww you are such a doll! I would be nervous as HECK! But you know what? You will get through it and now you know some knowledge on your tendons and muscles in your hand! You will be just fine I will say a prayer for you too. Stay strong and know you are being thought of by many people ^^^ 🙂

  32. Friday!!! Friday!!!!

    You can start every single post you write for the next 4 weeks with THIS SUCKS. I don’t care, and I think everyone will understand.

  33. You know what, I dont like how the world makes us feel selfish for being upset when bad things happen. Yah, some people do have it worse, but that doesnt make this situation suck any less. Its like the whole “eat your dinner, there are starving children in Africa” line. Its a load of crap.
    Complain all you want, and dont feel selfish about it. Because you know what, THIS SUCKS!

    My thoughts are definitely with you, and I will be hoping and praying for you to get the early surgery!

  34. I love you Kelly & am thinking of you. You are in my thoughts & prayers- especially regarding the appointment tomorrow.
    I know it is so hard on you right now, but just look @ it as a little speed bump along the journey of life.

    LOVE YOU!

  35. OH MY GOD, Kelly!!I am SO SO SO SO sorry!! I am so terribly behind on reading your blog after all my travels the past week or so – and just read through to catch up. I KNOW you are trying so hard to stay positive but you’re right, this is tough to swallow, I’m so sorry! I wish I could say or do something to help!! Sending you hugs, hugs, hugs! xo

  36. Oh my gosh! Good luck with everything Kelly! Thinking about you during this time!

  37. New reader here! Wow, it’s awful what you’re going through 😦 Sending you positvity!!! I’m very impressed that you’re blogging one-handed!

  38. Kelly – you deserve to say this sucks but it soooo does! I’m sending good vibes your way. The sooner the surgery can happen, the sooner recovery will start.

  39. Kelly – my heart goes out to you! Please please keep your head (and hand!) up. You will get through this. This happened for a reason. And remember – you are KELLY, not marathon Kelly. Simply Kelly, the person deep down behind the name, and that is and will always be enough 🙂

  40. You know I’m always here for you. Call and rage if you need 🙂

  41. I am so sorry to hear all the crap that is happening to you right now! 😦 You are handling this quite gracefully-and you are so awesome about keeping us all posted! Take care and I hope the surgery goes well!

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