The Race That Never Was…

WARNING: Deeply personal post follows. Read at your own risk.

After a lot of thought, tears and endless nights of searching for answers, I am sad to finally say that NYC is going to be the race that never was. I put my heart and soul into qualifying and now it is not going to happen. Not this time. Not this year.

Let’s start from the beginning. For the last 2 1/2 years I have been a running machine. I logged 10/12 miles a day. Every. Single. Day. I ran 60+ miles a week and somewhere between 225-250 miles a month. I now see the error of my ways because my poor little body is currently done. My knee is really hurt and my body is just not having any more of this. I got a second opinion from another sports PT and he thinks based on my symptoms that I probably have small tears in my meniscus. I am going to be scheduling an MRI soon. I can not fool myself or play make believe anymore.

My knee is going to be okay and I will recover but heading into NYC training and logging 14, 16, 18, 20+ mile training runs is just not going to happen. I would rather be able to run my entire life than risk that for one race. NYC is not going anywhere and if I qualified once then I will qualify again.

I, mentally, am not so good right now. I’m scared, lost and a little confused. I wrapped myself up so much in running that I am not sure who I am without it. I am still going to run but my days are going to consist of 5 -6 milers with weight training added in (most likely in the form of body pump 3 times a week). It isn’t like I am not running anymore at all (and for that I AM grateful) but my marathon days are temporarily on hold. It feels weird because I have been in a marathon mindset for close to 5 years now. To change that way of thinking seems so out of character. No NYC means no attempt to qualify for Boston in April. My plans and my goals have all the sudden become unrealistic. My whole plan is just gone.

It seems unnatural to run such short distances. I feel like something is missing. But my knee can’t handle it right now. I overtrained and pushed and pushed and pushed. Now my body is simply saying no. Payback is a bitch. I urge anyone out there who is overtraining to STOP! I never had any problems either. I scoffed at people who told me to slow down and ease off. I was doing 10, 12, 14 miles daily with no pain. Then out of the blue…BAM…knee pain. No warning, no hints, just full on pain. I ignored it for months and now I am humbled, for there is no more ignoring. I concede. My knee wins and my heart loses.

I need some time. I am going to take a few days off. I need to think, re-prioritize, make new goals. I need to remember who Kelly is without the word marathoner attached to her name. Running was my outlet. No thinking, just the mechanical movement and rhythm of my body working. Without that I find I am more emotional and more volatile. I need to grasp who I am because I know I am more than just a runner. I can’t have my identity be so wrapped up into one single activity. I have to believe that I will one day be a marathoner again (God willing) but today I need to back off, go to PT, strength train and run less.

So NYC, I almost conquered you. But know that one day you will not own me – I will own you.

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125 Responses

  1. I’m sorry. I know it must be very hard for you. But you are right in listening to your body. I know you want to do this race now, but it will (or another one will) be there in a year or two or probably even ten. This is not your only shot!

    Hang in there girl!

  2. I know what it is like to “identify” with something so strong and then lose it.
    But you are still quite fortunate – look at all you do!
    For over a year I have been reduced to a walker. It has taken me over (over) a year to actually accept this…just to accept it.
    I am physically at a point that I never would have imagined. But you are catching yourself early, so that is good.
    In the meantime, I try (try) to refocus my sights on other things (being okay just with a simple walk, reading, anything other than “identifying” myself solely on one thing).
    Hang in there. You are smart and seem to be dealing with it the appropriate way.

    • Thanks for sharing such a personal account of yourself. I am definitely trying to be smart about this (trying being the operative word) But thank you for your kind words of encouragement!

  3. I am so sorry Kelly! I want to give you a big hug.

    It sounds like you did the right thing getting a second opinion. What does he think of your continued running though? Can you really heal if you’re still going to run? I know it’s hard for you, but you really need to do what is best for your body right now. Cutting back now will cause you a lot less pain in the future. You want to be able to run when your 60 right? If you treat yourself right, you’ll be able to do that.

    Good luck girl and keep your head up. Kelly is a wife, a daughter, a creative writer, a woman with a kind heart, and great sense of humor…not just a marathoner.

    • Well the continued running is going to be on a “as I feel I can basis” so we will see. But I have promised myself and Keith that I will be smart about this and make smart decisions. I think I am scared enough to be able to do that!

  4. That’s such a smart decision as hard as it is. I totally know what you mean. Before my two knees started tormenting me I was really active and into outdoor adventure-type things. Now 30 minutes on the stationary bike is a big deal. No race is worth that.

    It’s so hard but know that you’re doing the right thing. I know that when you’re injured you lose some of your identity. But this is treatable if it’s a tear, and while it might be a long haul with surgery you will be able to run again. That’s so much better than denying it, hurting it worse, and ending up like me.

    Ugh, so sorry you are going through this. I hope getting an MRI helps you sort out exactly what the problem is.

    • Thanks Tracey…I know you know exactly how I feel and it is comforting. I will definitely take any advice from you and heed it! πŸ™‚

  5. Girl I am soooo sorry to hear this. But it’s really good that you are listening to your body and being realistic. It’s not worth potential permanent damage. You’re young, you’re fit, and you’ll bounce back, likely stronger in the end. I wish I had more words of encouragement. How about a big internet hug?????

  6. Ugh! I am so sorry you have to go through this. It reminds me of my son who for years put his heart and soul into basketball. It was his life and passion. Like you, it became his identity. Unfortunately he has had multiple concussions and the last time had to stay out of the game completely for over nine months. He has since realized that to focus so much on one thing is dangerous because it can be ripped away from you in an instant.

    I can feel your pain, but like you said, at least you are still able to run. You WILL be a marathoner again!

    • Thanks Sue…I agree with what you said that is can be dangerous to have so much wrapped up in one thing. I am learning that the hard way.

  7. I am very sorry to hear about you not being able to compete in the race but am very happy you are listening to your instincts. Take a few days to recoop and lean on Keith, that’s what he is there for, to help support you when you feel weak.

    As for us, we will be here thinking about you until your return.

    • Proud of me? Thanks Jill…that actually means a lot to me. I was feeling like a quitter and here you are telling me you are proud of me! πŸ™‚

  8. Hang in there girl. I know you are making the right decision, and it sounds like you know you will thank yourself later! ❀

  9. Aww Kelly I am so so sorry!! Sorry isn’t even a big enough word. I completely understand what you’re going through, although I know that doesn’t make it any better! I’m glad you’re getting an MRI- at least then you’ll *know*. You’re doing the right thing by missing this race so you can continue running for the rest of your life, even if it doesn’t seem so great right now. Hang in there!!

  10. I am sorry Kelly. Take your time off and recoup and regroup. You are an amazing person and will come through this with new dreams and goals that may very well include running again. Mourn this loss for as long as you need to and heal your body. It’s very hard to be on one path and have those plans ended. My husband was on the road to the NYC marathon (running for a charity) and ended up with a stress fracture in his knee and had to pull out. Hang in there, you will be ok if you give it some time.

    • Thanks Maggie…and if Keith is mean blame me! haha! I have a feeling I am may not be the easiest person to live with for a few weeks! πŸ™‚

  11. Sending lots of hugs your way Kelly xoxo

  12. I’m so sorry, Kelly. Big hugs to you. Stay strong and please bear in mind that you’ve made my “read immediately” folder on Google Reader because you come across as a lovely, interesting person on here – beyond the running. I just know that all the people who post here feel the same. xx

    • Oh my gosh Becca….that just made my day! I appreciate that so much because I feel like I don’t have anything to offer aside from running. So thank you, thank you, thank you!

  13. You’ll run the race of your life one day. That day just might be a bit farther away than you’d like.

  14. Kelly I’m so sorry! That must be so hard! Definitely take some time to absorb all of this, you need it!!!! You are so much more than a marathoner. Through reading your blog, I know that you are such a great person with so many wonderful qualities! I’m keeping you in my thoughts !!!!
    xoxo

  15. I’m sending huge hugs your way, Kelly. I’m sure the next few days and weeks will be a huge adjustment for your soul. Take the time you need to ease into a new routine and a new frame of mind. Sometimes the best decisions are the hardest ones to make. You have done the right thing for your body. It will thank you 100x over, I’m sure.

    You are an amazing woman with so much to offer the world. You are an example for many. Running was only a small part of that.

  16. Oh Kelly, I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I’ve been in your position before. I use to run just like you. And like you, my body was telling me to stop.

    I told myself that I want to be 70 years old and still be able to go for a 6 mile run. In order to achieve that, I had to give up the crazy running. Now I run 6 miles 3-4 times per week and do Bikram 3 times per week. My body is so much happier for that.

    I know mentally how hard this is. Keep your head your up and know that you’re doing whats best for your body πŸ™‚

  17. I’m so sorry this happened, Kelly. I really am. But you are such a strong and vibrant person! You are a healthy, fit, energetic, and beautiful girl who very much has so much advice and support to give to us all! Sure, your “training” has changed, but you still get to go and do your thing every day! Be proud!

    Take a good rest and destress a little… I hope you feel better soon!

  18. Oh girl I’m sorry to hear this! 😦 Injuries are so so frustrating and total emotional roller-coasters. The fact that you already have a plan of action proves that you won’t let this get you down.

    Also? I know those runs might seem short now but when you’re finished you’ll think, “Wow I’m done early and now have all this extra time for whatever I want!”. For serious πŸ˜€

    • Okay Andrea…you were the first to make me laugh! Thanks! Good thinking…my workouts will be shorter which will definitely allow me to do other things…shopping anyone? haha!

  19. Wow Kelly, I am so sorry to hear this. I have trained for two half marathons and have never been able to get over 8 miles without injuries. You are very lucky to not have done something worse and you are still able to run! Hang in there and keep yourself busy doing other things…eventually running 6 or 7 miles will be like running 10 or 12 miles.

    Hope you are feeling better soon!

  20. You are a daily inspiration. When one things closes many more amazing opportunities open up. If there is anyone out there that loves life and their body, it’s you. You’ll find other fabulous ways to knock out those miles, but I will say I am incredibly proud you are listening to your body.

    You have your whole life of smaller, just as important, races ahead of you.

    You’re in my thoughts and I sincerely wish you all the best.

  21. Oh Kelly, I am so sorry. I feel your pain…I really do. I wish I could say that it will be ok, but I totally understand the frustration and overwhelming feeling of not being in control of yourself. When I had my tumor removed, I had never been so lost. I thought I had over come that struggle (they removed abdominal muscle all the way through to my body cavity and replaced it with mesh), 3 years later, I had a massive hernia in that area. I had to start all over again. I can honestly say that is takes one day at a time, but you will find your way. I am not the strongest person in the world and I have limitations. Just take care of yourself and you will heal in time. I am truly sorry. Keep your chin up!

    • Sarena, thanks for sharing this story! You are amazing to me. Not only are you a beautiful woman but you are also an incredible mother and wife. I admire you more than you know….

  22. Oh gosh, I just teared up for you. I had to take a hiatus after my half last fall and it was hard, I can only imagine how you’re feeling. But! Keep your head up and keep up with those shorter runs! They will add up to something big, in the form of your best race ever.

    • Here’s hoping right? Thanks for the encouraging words…I am blown away by all the support so many amazing people are giving me!

  23. Hey kell, take your time and reconnect with yourself. who knows where all that extra energy you put into running will end up. Someplace wonderful I’m sure. xo

  24. I’m so sad for you, but it is the right decision. The long term is the most important thing to keep in mind. If you’re already in and paid for the marathon, you can defer till next year due to injury. You should look into that.

    Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself too (body and mind)!

  25. So sorry to hear you will not be able to do the race you wanted, but you have a great attitude about it. You WILL get your shot at that race. And now you have learned so much and can take with you these valuable lessons!

  26. Oh Kelly, I am so sorry. You made the right decision though. One race isn’t worth a long term injury. You’re a fighter though, and I know you’ll come out of this stronger than ever.

  27. Sorry to hear that but there will always be another race…..you got to take care of you first!

  28. oh sweetie, i’m so sorry to hear that. making plans and then not being able to see them through is hard, but i 100% believe you when you say that you will be conquering NYC…you will, and I can’t wait to go along for the ride!

  29. Oh, Kelly, what a touching post! I am sincerely sorry for you 😦 Take your time to sorrow and come over this, with time you will see all this differently. In the end the most important thing is your health and that you can still exercise. I have shared so many of your feelings along my own recovery. Now I don’t push myself anymore but do what feels right for my body and mind and I am thankful for my health every day. You will run that marathon and I promise I will come and cheer for you ( yes really NYC here I come)!! I will email you tonight, hang in there honey!! Love you!

  30. Kelly, I’m SO sorry to hear about all of this. 😦 I can only relate in that I, at one point, had running taken away from me. (due to ED) I could not run for a few months & it KILLED me. It was like my life was just totally different without…but you know what?!?! I was able to re-discover MYSELF during those times & REALLY think about what I valued (like my life & my health) & that helped me get thru it. As soon as I was ‘cleared’ to run again I CHERISHED EVERY minute of my runs & NEVER again will I do something to limit it.
    I KNOW you will get thru this, & I also know that it’s going to be hard…but I hope that you take it as a time to reflect on life itself..& the HUGE importance of your health.
    You are an AMAZING woman & this is just going to be a small obstacle for you to CONQUER!
    HUGE hugs your way!!

  31. Oh Kelly I wish I lived near by so I could give you a hug and take you out for margaritas! I have been in those overtraining, heart breaker shoes and they are NO fun at all. But you know what? You WILL come back. You will be stronger and faster and a SMARTER runner than you were before. In your “off” time you will find other things you are passionate about. My stress fractures and IT band problems led me to cycling, which led me to two cross country trips and some of the best times of my life. I have every faith that you will be back to rocking those long runs, but until then take it easy and know that we are all here for you!

  32. This really sucks 😦

    You are doing the right thing though. Take some some time off to recover physically and mentally. Get your body and mind healthy first, then you will own NYC. Trust me πŸ™‚

  33. You know what. I am happy to read this. Not because I’m happy your goals on hold, but because I am happy you are taking care of your body and giving it the rest it needs. I didn’t like hearing how pain kept creeping up and you’re right that being able to run for life is important. This is just a temporary hold. You will be able to still reach your goals. Hugs sweetie!!!

    • Thanks Tina. I have definitely been ignoring the pain and I just can’t anymore. I have to be smart…better late than never right?

  34. Oh Kelly I am so sorry. I can’t imagine what this must feel like. You are more than running though. You are a smart, thoughtful, caring woman! This honest post is really helpful to me. While I’m not running crazy miles for my training, I feel like I was pushing my paces too much. I’m going to take an honest assessment of my abilities and reevaluate my goal for the Wineglass marathon.

    • Oh Kristina…thanks for this. I 100% believe in you but I am glad that if somehow I can help others through my experience then there is some good from this.

  35. https://myhealthypassion.wordpress.com/2010/03/16/a-confession/

    I think you should reread this post. Someone who loves to run as much as you do needs to be able to run when she’s 70. I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now but I think you’re doing the right thing. Hang in there… you’re an amazing woman. You’ll figure out a way to define yourself as time passes. And, that definition will change through the years….

  36. hang in there Kelly. I completely understand your sadness and frustration and “change of mindset” with this siatuation, but like you said, you have to be grateful that you still can run! many people injure themselves so much so, they are told they can never run again. The body is extremely smart beyond imagination and if you listen to it properly, those dreams that you have of running in a marathon will come back, I promise.

    keep your head up πŸ™‚

  37. *Sending you a big virtual hug*

    You are strong beyond words.

  38. thank you for sharing and being so open with us. this post is actually what going to make me schedule that doctors visit that is long overdue.

    i have been having some knee pain and shin pain for a while and just a bunch of odd stuff here and there and I too have been making excuses about them. i think its time i sucked it up and got it checked out, because it would be better to be sidelined for a few months than for my entire life.

    p.s. youre so awesome.

    • Thanks Genesis and please keep me updated on your shins and knees. I hate that you are hurting but speaking from experience (ironic laugh) it is best to get it checked out.

  39. i am so sorry……i know how much you love running and what it adds to your life. keep your spirits up and recover.

  40. aw, im so sorry kelly! i know how much you love running and this must be really tough for you. but you are 100% doing the right thing! our bodies tell us what they need if we just slow down enough to listen and i’m glad you are listening to yours :).

    – Beth @ http://www.DiningAndDishing.com

  41. My biggest happy wishes for a steady recovery. I overtrained sometime ago and was out of running for almost a year. I also have several friends who were competitive athletes who have had to seriously scale back their running from similar knee and joint issues. It has been a long recovery for them, but they made it; I know you will, too!
    One place I know many of them found solace to still do long-distance cardio/exercise was with swimming. It helped their recovery and ultimately became a passion. Perhaps this could help your recovery physically and mentally too. Regardless, you are clearly a remarkable woman who is honoring her body and I wish you the best!

    • I am definitely going to swim. I love swimming and a few months ago when my kneee was REALLY bad I was swimming 2 miles a day…it is definitely therapeutic and I am going to start again soon!

  42. I’m so sorry Kelly, I know how you must be feeling. There were so many days when I left the gym in tears when I was injured. I really hope you have a relatively fast recovery and can get back to the running you want to do. There will be other marathons and other chances to BQ. You’ll do it eventually!

  43. I’m sorry to hear about your knee giving you so much grief. That really is a huge disappointment. I’m really glad for what you wrote at the very end though. You are right.

    Though it may be sooner than later you WILL conquer the NYC. Keep your chin up!

  44. I’m so sorry that you are going through this. It’s God’s way of letting you know that it’s time to slow down.

    In the end, I think this will be good for you. You can find out who you REALLY are outside of running–and who knows–you might find new passions in the meantime.

    Please, take it easy–your marathon dreams are still there–just have to be a little more patient with them!

  45. I’m very proud of you for listening to your body and realizing you need some rest. You will get back to running the distances you want and eventually the NYC marathon when the time is right. Think how much sweeter it will be to cross the finish line then… knowing all you’ve been through to get there. Take it easy sweet lady and please don’t let this get you down. We’re all here to love you and help you get through this. Hang in there.

  46. Hey sweetie, first of all I’m so sorry that you’re injured. You are an incredible person, you have so many gifts and running is just one of the many.

    You ARE a runner, you WILL get through this and you WILL run again. You’ve learned some hard lessons in life and came out better for them.

    Take all the time you need to be upset and feel everything you need to feel. Love you, Bex

  47. So sorry darling. But I am so proud of you for realizing that this is one race and that it’s better to be able to run forever than just run one race.

  48. 😦 Your passion for running just spills out of your blog and I can’t imagine how you are feeling right now. It’s great you are working with good doctors to get to the root of the problem. Hopefully the time off in prevention now will get you back to runnnig for the rest of your life. The change in activity level is probably not helping the feeling down… can you bike ?? Being smart about your injury care and making the changes you need to will jsut make you a smarter, stronger, and healthier RUNNER that you are. Feel better!!

    PS- If you are allowed to do Body Pump, I just started up last week trying to go a few times per week. I’m interested in the changes it will make. We can compare notes if it will help you keep your mind off what you are missing! πŸ™‚

    • I can do Body Pump…we can definitely compare notes. Sounds fun and it will help to keep me motivated! πŸ™‚ Thanks Katie!

  49. I think you’ve made a very wise decision. I realize it was a very hard decision to make, but ultimately it’s a good one.

    I completely understand your loss of self (in fact, I wrote a post about it yesterday). I suffered brain trauma in November and felt I’d lost the core elements that make me who I am.

    Having recently gone through this, I’d recommend using this time to look at what defines you other than being a runner. This is an excellent chance to develop and strengthen other elements of yourself.

    New York will happen. Boston will happen. The schedule will simply be a little different. In the meantime, you’ll learn more about yourself and when you arrive at those start lines you’ll do it with more determination than ever.

  50. It will be very hard for a while. Running has become a habit for you. It is good that you are listening to your body though. I wish you a speedy recovery.

  51. oh kelly, this post just breaks my heart for you. i know how deep and intense your love for running is.

    one thing i just have to say is that you are SO MUCH MORE than running. i read your blog for your wonderful knowledge about healthy living as well as your insight into how to live a life full of love (you & keith seem to have such a great thing going).

    so, you are definitely more than a runner to me, even though i know you really identify with that aspect of your life. πŸ™‚

    • Thanks Julie! That means a lot to me. I love that I am able to reach people on a level aside from running. It makes me feel a little less lost right now!

  52. I’m so so so sorry for what you’re going through, but you’re ABSOLUTELY doing the right thing and I think it’s awesome that you’re being brave and smart and sitting out this race. Your body will thank you!

  53. Kelly — I’m so sorry about your knee. I know how frustrating injuries can be…not only because they sideline you, but because they prevent you from doing the very thing that gives you definition.

    My Dad has actually gone through something similar. He was the one who got me into running in the first place, and always was my running “hero.” Without going into details, I’ll just say that his knees are now at the point where he is unable to run at all…and most likely will never run again. Obviously this devastated him, and I think it’s still hard for him to hear about my running goals and races. As proud as he is of me, it hurts that he can’t do it himself — especially because for so many years, running was not just something he did, but it was a big part of who he was.

    I guess I’m saying this to let you know that I do understand what you’re going through, and I know how hard it can be. But you can take heart in the fact that although your goals are on hold for now, you WILL reach them someday. I really do think it is an admirable thing to be smart and listen to your body. And even though you’re only running 1/2 the distance, you can enjoy each and every mile that your body gives you, knowing that resting now means that one day, you will be able to go out and do marathons again.

    I am sending good vibes your way as you take this time off to re-coup and deal with things. I hope your recovery will be quick!

    Also….you ARE still a marathoner. You are just a marathoner who is taking time off to deal with an injury. Just because you can’t train for one at this very moment doesn’t mean you can no longer consider that part of who you are. Think of professional athletes who need to take time off from an injury. No one can tell them that they aren’t baseball or football or soccer players. And no one can take that title away from you either. πŸ™‚

    • Thank you Lauren! That is what scares me the most…is the idea that I won’t ever get back to where I was. That my knees are somehow forever damaged. That is the fear that keeps creeping up in my head. I am trying to not let those negative thoughts come into play!

      And thank you so much for the last part. That meant a lot and made me tear up a little bit. THANK YOU.

  54. Oh my gosh, Kelly. I’m so sorry! I know how much this means to you. Whenever you get upset, just remember that whatever is happening NOW will only help and prepare you for the future. And just know that your blog has inspired me to get back into running. I took some time off, but now I’m back in the game. With my measly 3-mile runs. You are SUCH a bright light and I know you will overcome this. Even though you’ve been “fired” from running (for now), I know you’ll keep it fabulous πŸ˜‰ BIG HUGS!!!

    PS. Check out this out–your very own wannabe runner was featured in Vital Juice πŸ™‚

    http://vitaljuice.com/entry_detail/nyc/10844/Vital_Juice_is_hitting_the_streets_to_meet_local_living-well_trendsetters_Watch_out–you_could_be_next.htm

  55. There’s no hobby like running that punishes you for doing it too well and too often– its not like you can get kite-flying elbow and have to quit flying kites, huh? Soooo sorry and I wish you the best and hope you can get back into as soon as humanly possible!

    • Agreed….I wish running was easier on the joints and limbs. It can be so frustrating. I think the worst part is that I find myself getting jealous of other runners. That is SO unlike me and not a feeling I am used to, Jealousy is an ugly little bug and I want it to go away ASAP!

  56. Oh Kelly, this is really terrible. But (in my mind, at least) you are not “Marathoner Kelly”, you are Kelly, the smart, beautiful, talented woman who happens to be amazing at running. Running can’t and shouldn’t define you. I’m hoping it will be a blessing in disguise and maybe you will find a new interest or talent! I also think that it will be great for your mental/emotional health because you will be forced to find different ways to outlet your emotions and of course it will be wonderful for your physical health because you will be able to be active into a ripe old age! Hang in there girl, you’ll come out of this even stronger than before πŸ™‚

    • Thanks Kady! I am actually glad that you don’t think of me as “marathoner Kelly”…thank you so much for these kind words of wisdom and the great advice!

  57. I am so sorry! This just really stinks, but I totally agree that you need to take care of yourself now and be able to run from here on out rather than for just this one race. I’ll be praying for you and hoping for a speedy recovery! This is just one of those dips in the rollercoaster of life, you’ll be heading on the uphill slide here soon! πŸ™‚

    • Thanks Crystal! That means a lot…I know you have tons going on and I can’t wait to read all about your big day!! πŸ™‚ You blog is one of my faves! I just want you to know that!

  58. I’m so sorry Kelly. But you’re right, you are more than just a runner, and this is a chance to figure out what else makes up your identity. I can’t run right now either and do understand how hard it is. Sendingyou get well wishes πŸ™‚

  59. Sigh, I’m sorry 😦 At least you kno what you have to do for no—you WILL get there one day!

  60. Aw Kelly, I am proud of you too! It is so important to listen to our bodies, and sometimes taking our own advice is the hardest of all. You will get to a better place and be glad you can run at all, like you said. Girl you are so strong, emotionally and physically I give you a ton of credit.

  61. Oh, my. I’m so, so sorry that this turned out this way for you!

    You will get there! You are making a super hard decision, but listening to your body will pay off for you! It’ll be hard, but you are going to be much happier with the results of listeniing to your body rather than continuing and hurting your knee even more! You are more than a runner! Take care of yourself!!

  62. oh no! i am sorry to hear that. take good care of yourself ok? i’ll be thinking of you and sending some healing energy to your knee!

  63. I’m so sorry to hear how upset you are. Focus on what you do have. Maybe with the extra time you’ll find a new love and get stronger in ways you couldn’t have imagined. And just think of all those grandmas and grandpas you see running marathons- you have decades left in your running career and you WILL make it to NYC one day πŸ™‚

  64. Life has a funny way of giving us not what we want, but what we need. The first step is listening and it sounds like you have already done that. You will be a marathoner again! We can all tell that from the heart behind your entries.

    Be sad, do some self searching and take this opportunity to explore other things you would never think to do while you were running all those miles. I think it will make you well rounded and stronger in the end.

    This sounds tough, and coming off just a wrist sprain I can understand how frustrating and humbling injuries are. Just try and take advantage of the extra time you have and the extra activities you get to try.
    I can’t wait to hear about your speedy recovery and your next marathon whenever that is! πŸ™‚

  65. I am SO so sorry to hear about your knee and the fact that you can’t do NYC anymore. I cannot exactly feel your pain because I was not as much of a runner as you, but I have been dealing with the knee thing for a very long time now. I will say that it will make you more creative about other things (have you ever done a sprint triathlon? haha) to get your work outs in. There will be blessings even though that is hard to see right now. I think you are definitely making the right choice to be able to run for the rest of your life rather than just this year. That’s the important thing. I wish you a lot of exciting adventures in the extra time you will have now, who knows you might find something you love almost as much…?

    • I have done a triathlon before and it was really fun. I am just not much a biker…but guess I need to start! haha! Thanks for such sweet words and BTW you looked gorgeous on your wedding day!

  66. kelly, you are full of wonderfulness. come back soon. tank full!

  67. I am SO sorry to hear that after all your hard work you can’t do what you set out form. However, I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason….and you are so smart for listening to your body. I broke up with running and my dreams of marathons many years ago…i learned to much about the stress on your joints, and felt them too–took a while before I was able to lunge and squat again, and now that I can, I wont risk it by running long distance. I admire you for admitting this to yourself and not trying to push through it and further damage your body. You rock, you pushed hard, and you accomplished a lot already. To totally health!!! Just know you are not alone and you are making a very wise, healthy decision.

    many hugs

    • Thanks Laury! This means a lot to me coming from you. I love your blog and I have a feeling I will be needing some workouts from you! πŸ˜‰

  68. Nothing wrong with taking time. You need to do what your body tells you to do. ((BIG HUGS))

  69. Hey Kelly, Im sorry to hear about this news. I’m reaaaally happy that you made a good decision though, not to risk ONE RACE vs a life time of running. I did the same thing (well not quite as intense as your running) but I ran a lot, everyday and now I can’t run for a while and it does suck. Everytime I go to the gym, I just want to hop on the treadmill, just a little bit but I know it’s not worth it. In the meantime, Im just happy that I am not told that I cant do ANY exercise. You’re doing the right thing, for your body and you. I know you said you are not feeling great mentally, I felt that way too. I was going to run the Chicago Marathon this year and was dead set on it. Then tendinitis in my knee and shins kept coming back after 1-2 weeks of a break. I need to learn to REALLY just let it heal. There is always next year and the year after that on and on. We are so young. Don’t let this get you down too much. You know you are a good and fast runner. You will do NYC one day and you will DEFINITELY BQ too.

  70. […] the bottom of my heart) to every single person out there who gave me such words of encouragement yesterday. I spent most of my day responding to emails that so many of you sent me with your own stories and […]

  71. I completely understand where you are coming from. 2 years ago I suffered 2 injuries which prevented me from doing my all time fav activity: running. I had to lay off of it for 6 months while going to PT. I felt like a piece of me was gone. But I changed my mindset, after a month of sulking, I continued doing pilates as well as weight training. I am back to my regular routine but now I listen to my body more. I have cut my running down to 4-5 days a week.
    Your knee will heal and you will be back on the trails πŸ™‚ soon. Take care of yourself. Have a great week.

  72. I’m glad you’re feeling better about this today but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry that you are going through this. You WILL be a marathoner again someday…in fact you are STILL a marathoner…just one who is taking a brief rest πŸ™‚ I’m glad that you received such an overwhelming response to your post and so much support from everyone. πŸ™‚

  73. I may have said this before, but everything happens for a reason. People used to tell me that about “other” things in life, and I did not like that cliche. I am now realizing after a lot of soul searching that they were right. There is a reason this is happening to you (besides possibly a bit of overtraining). Taking rest days are GOOD for you πŸ™‚ Your body needs a break. NYC will be there, Boston will be there. This is your chance to re-energize, re-think your goals for the time being, and give your body a must deserved rest πŸ™‚

    I’m sorry you are going thru this. You will get thru this. You have a fabulous family, husband and blogging community that will help you emotionally!

  74. No doubt you will show NY whose boss. So great to hear you make the right decision to choose to cut back now so that you will be able to run for the rest of your life. Hang in there!

  75. Oh lovey, I am so sorry. I know it’s very difficult to accept this situation and it’s a horrible situation. But just know that NYCM isn’t going anywhere. It’s going to be there for you when you are healed up and ready to perform at your best.

    But, until then, lots of tears are ok! Crying takes the sad out of you!

    • Thanks Pen! Don’t worry I have definitely shed a few tears….it definitely helps!! Now I am just going to have to live through you! πŸ™‚

  76. Oh Kelly, I don’t know what to say more than the previous 117 have said. I completely understand how this must feel — you are a runner, it’s you. You have always amazed me, and your strength to give your body what it needs is amazing. I wish you all the luck in getting your body back to 100% and in your racing goals in the future. All the hugs and well wishes in the world!

  77. Oh Kelly!! I’m so sorry!! I’m just catching up after being on vacation, and awwwwww….I know how frustrating running injuries are…I wish there was something that I could say that would make you feel better, except that you are not alone. The first marathon I trained for I had a serious injury that cropped up just 2 days before the race and I couldn’t run…I was utterly crushed. But since then I’ve backed off a bit, and try to give myself the rest it needs (even when my body feels fine!) and I haven’t had an injury since. Hang in there, girl!

  78. Hang in there πŸ™‚ Focus on getting better and getting healed.

    I’m also a believer in everything happens for a reason. This may be a blessing in disguise (although it’s hard to see right now).

  79. I’m so sorry about your knee Kelly. I know it’s a major disappointment, but you’ll be back. Just give it time to heal and you’ll conquer NY another year.

    Hang in there. And PS, you’re so much more than just a marathon runner. Keep blogging, πŸ˜‰

  80. Hi girly – i am soo far behind in my blog reading, I had to catch up on your knee and what happened. I finally made it back to this post and am sorry I couldn’t respond sooner. I’m really sorry about your knee (and now your finger) and that NYC is a no-go for you. I’m planning to run it next year, so maybe fate will work in a weird way and we can run it together. I know that’s not much right now, but it would certainly be nice to finally meet you.

    Stay strong woman – you are truly amazing and I’m glad you decided to keep blogging. I’ve been in a running/work-out slump lately and I think that contributed to my giant lapse. But you do have sooo much to offer beyond just running and I’m so happy you’re sticking around. I’m trying my best to hang onto blogging as well.

    I’m sending you good, healing thoughts and know that you will be just fine without running for a bit.

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