How To Form a Body Partnership

I got a great response from my Examiner article, Make Peace With Yourself, that I thought I would just go ahead and post it here for you to read as well.

Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for your body is to love it. Loving and accepting your body is half the battle in making peace. On a journey to a healthy lifestyle, it is easier toย travel that roadย with your body as your partner versus your enemy.

Steps to a Body Partnership:

1. Stop telling yourself what you “hate” and start telling yourself what you “love.” Focus on what you consider to be your finest attributes.

2. Don’t obsess over food. Make healthy choices but when you indulge, enjoy it and then move on.

3. Stop focusing on your outward appearance and focus on what qualities you offer from the inside. Are you a good listener? A good friend? A good writer? A good cook? Remind yourself that you are more than just what is on the outside or how your body looks.

4. Practice positive self talk! Negative thinking and negative talk serve NO purpose!

5. Appreciate your body for the strength it provides you. Be grateful for the things are you can do that others can not.

6. Don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone is unique and everyone has their own body. You are supposed to be you, not someone else.

7. Set realistic goals and strive to achieve them. Don’t set a goal that is only going to set you up for failure. Instead set a goal that you can realistically achieve in a set time frame.

8. Find exercises that you like and that make you feel great about yourself. If you don’t like running then don’t run! Find the exercise that makes you happy and makes you feel good about being YOU. This will also make you much more likely to stick with it!

9. Ask for help! Lean on your support system (family, friends, spouse) and let them help you when you are feeling down or stressed.

10. Wear clothes that flatter your figure and make you feel confident. Feel good about the size you are now and stop wishing to look another way.

Do you have a body partnership?


35 Responses

  1. honestly i’m working on it, and am getting closer and closer! i like the part where you say talk about the things you love and not the things you hate…that can go a LONG way!

  2. LOVE this- beautiful! I seriously could use some work in ALL of these areas…especially finding things that I LOVE about myself & not focusing on what I DISLIKE. It really does NO good to sit & cut yourself down all the time. What a waste of time- I’d rather celebrate myself & life ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Oh girl I so need this post on my mirror! I have such a bad habit of negative talk. It was party of my New Year’s Resolution to change.

  4. I am definitely working on it. I feel like my body is constantly changing, so I always question what is going on. Not necessarily in a bad way either. I have noticed changes in certain body parts when I focus on them and it makes me wonder how far I want to go with them. Does that make sense? Anyway, I don’t think I have a bad image of my body, I just think I am aware of it.

    • It makes complete sense and I think that a lot of people struggle with that. Sometimes I think I might be “too aware”…haha!

  5. I 100% agree with the reverse of thinking in #1 but I struggle with it. My thinking is very poison sometimes.

    Another great post. How I love ur blog ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. I’m still working on my body partnership, but I think the older I get, the better I get at it. Great post, Kelly!

    • I think you have the cutest body!!! Today that picture of you carrying sophie (in the workout clothes) I thought to myself…wow Anna looks freaking AWESOME!

  7. Like Heather (Where’s the Beach), this was a resolution of mine and so far I’d not call myself totally successful at conquering the negative talk, its a hard habit to break, sadly. But THIS is a great reminder, I need to form a consistent body partnership with myself…getting there, slowly but surely.

  8. No. 6 is definitely the hardest. Especially if you watch TV, go to movies, or even shop at the grocery store. Pictures of skinny celebs are everywhere. This is a great post!

  9. I love this piece you wrote!

    I will admit that my body and I have a good partnership- but no relationship comes without struggles or fights. That’s for sure… ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. I love this post! I struggle with a “body partnership” because I did a lot of damage to my body from being obese for so many years, but recently I’ve been able to appreciate how strong it is and how much it allows me to do — I’m working on it!

  11. This is great! I like the idea of actually replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk. Too often we just hear the advice of “stop the negative self-talk,” but that’s really hard to do unless you’re replacing it with something positive!

  12. I think I have a pretty good body partnership. I try to stay positive about my body because negativity really only causes more issues (stress, sadness, binge eating)

  13. Stop negative talk! Love it! Advice I got once was to never say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to a little girl. You are most vulnerable to yourself just like being a small child so you need to encourage yourself just like you would a child. Would you ever say “You’re fat!” or “I hate your thighs” to an 8 year old?!

  14. Great list Kelly. I think I’m fairly good at most of these things, but struggle with 7 and 9. Working on it…

  15. Excellent post! Like any relationship, the body and I are always working on things. Sometimes we are blissfully happy, other times we fight. I feel like I’ve come a long way…and still have a long way to go!

  16. great post! Its so hard to NOT compare yourself to others but I think that to avoid this, just keep complimenting yourself and realize that YOU are beautiful and have so much to offer rather than wasting your time comparing to others!

  17. Great post, thanks for sharing! I especially love #8. I think because there are so many runners in the blog world, many people might feel like it’s a ‘must do’ exercise, but even though I love it personally, I know that there are so many other ways to stay fit and be active. It’s all about finding what’s best for you personally or it won’t work in the long run.

  18. For the most part. I have my moments of body image hatred but I try my best to have the positive thoughts more often than the negative!

  19. This is great Kelly!!
    Once I finally started working WITH my body instead of AGAINST it, my entire life got better. Im happier, Im healthier, and Im nicer to other people. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Everything kind of started falling into place if that makes sense, I dont know when it happened, it just kind of did. The other day I even realized that I cant remember the last time I looked in a mirror and thought anything negative.

    • YAY! Leah that makes me smile so big! I know you have gone through a lot to get to this point. I want to hug you! ๐Ÿ™‚

  20. I’m getting there. I’ve come far from my “I hate me” days, but I’ve still got a lot to go. I still catch myself dissecting every piece of myself in the mirror when I’m in my underwear. But, I do try to say positive things about myself every now and again ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Me too…I am definitely not great about loving my body either. I look in the mirror sometimes and only see the flaws…but what is funny is that Keith says they aren’t flaws they are what makes me uniquely me. That makes me smile because even on my most awful days I know that man loves every inch of me! ๐Ÿ™‚ Just like Mr. KD loves you!

  21. i love this! exactly what i have been working on. it isn’t always easy but i am getting so much better at it!

  22. Great post Kelly! Since I’ve been eating healthy and working out, I love my body because I know how hard I work at it…..LOL….sure I still have cellulite, a bit of a round butt and a budge belly thanks to pregnancy but that’s what makes me “me” and I will then look at all the positives……runner muscular legs, great biceps, muscular back that I love, pretty good abs, etc. We all need to concentrate more on our positives!

  23. Love this post! I have a really bad body partnership, it’s pretty terrible! My bfs mum thinks i have body dysmorphia! because im always picking things out and she’s like ‘where?! i dont see it!’ I am trying but it’s so hard, some days are harder than others but i really want to stop before i have kids of my own. I want to be a positive role model to them that eats healthily and enjoys exercise but doesnt obssess! x

    • Hang in there Kerry….if you ever need to talk you can always shoot me an email. It is hard! I definitely struggle with body dysmorphia too. Thankfully, my husband is pretty amazing at showing me how to love myself.

  24. Love your 10 steps…I have a body partnership that I am happy with, but I have worked a lifetime always tweaking my diet, exercise, my mentality, going deeper into my thoughts about my body and getting away from comparing, wishing for what will never be mine, etc…great post kelly and great garden pics!

  25. This is wonderful…I’m so glad you shared it. I’m working on my partnership…I can tell you it’s been rough.

  26. This is a great list! I think it’s something that I’m getting better at. I’m built differently than my sisters, and even though I exercised way more than them, I could never quite reach their skinny little figures. But I’ve learned over the years to accept and love my body — and to appreciate it for the strength it gives me and the ability to run.

    • Yeah that is hard. I only have a brother so I never had that sister body rivarly. I kind of am glad I didn’t have sisters…is that horrible??

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