Running Rules

Here are some running rules and information from Runner’s World magazine. As a runner I thought these were VERY appropriate and something I think everyone should read. 🙂 haha…enjoy!

RUNNING RULES OF THUMB

  1. If you see a porta potty with no line, use it. Even if you don’t need to.
  2. If you have to ask yourself, Does this driver see me? The answer is no.
  3. If you have to ask yourself, Are these shorts too short? The answer is yes.
  4. 1 glazed doughnut = 2 miles
  5. You rarely regret the runs you d0; you almost always regret the runs you skip.
  6. Not everyone who looks fast really is, and not everyone who looks really slow is.
  7. Nobody has ever watched Chariots of Fire from beginning to end. Not even the people who made it.
  8. You can never have too many safety pins on your gym bag.
  9. Running any given route in the rain makes you feel 50 percent more hard-core than covering the same route on a sunny day.
  10. If you care even a little about being called a jogger versus a runner, you’re a runner.

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PASS GAS, NOT JUDGEMENT!

Runner’s ingest a fair amount of healthy foods, which produce gas in the GI tract, where it can not stay forever. Especially when that GI tract is bounced and jostled. Passing gas while running is excusable and inevitable, but…

  • You may not mock another runner for having passed gas, unless he/she has previously mocked you for the same.
  • If a runner has taken pains to mask flatulence, pretend nothing has happened.
  • It’s fun to pretend that the gas you expelled is propelling you forward, like a little booster rocket.

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A PR IS A PR FOREVER, BUT…

You may advertise a personal record (PR) time, or otherwise claim it as your own with no further explanation for two years after setting it. After two years, however, it becomes uncool to tell people, “My marathon PR is 3:12” without providing a disclaimer – e.g., “My marathon PR is 3:12, but I ran that 63 years ago.”

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EXPAND YOUR SENSE OF FUN

As a runner, your definition of fun – which might have once included water parks, screwball comedies on DVD, and scrapbooking – must be, well, let’s just say broadened and might include:

  • Waking up at 5:30 a.m. to run 10 miles
  • Running in blistering heat
  • Running in the rain
  • Running in 400-meter circles
  • Feeling as if your lungs are about to explode
  • Paying good money for the priviledge of turning your toenails black
  • Any combination of the above

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“LOOKIN’ GOOD!” …AND OTHER RUNNERS’ LIES

Lying is NOT something we normally endorse. But it’s perfectly acceptable to tell a runner that he is looking good at mile 19 of a marathon when, in fact, he looks like an insomniac who’s trying to sneeze, and is confused because someone has switched his running shoes with replicas of concrete. The go-to lie is “Lookin’ good!” Or you could say, “If I weren’t sp awed by the apparent ease with which you’re navigating this course, I might be angry with you for nearly knocking me unconscious with your awesomeness!” The key is to say something. Even a zombie appreciates encouragement.

 Have a good night everyone…be back tomorrow!

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One Response

  1. Thanks for checking out my blog, girl!

    Those running rules are hilarious- I LOVE Runner’s World mag. 🙂

    http://www.joelygolightly.wordpress.com

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