Thank you for all the words of encouragement yesterday. It meant the world to me. Truly. I want to explain what medically is going on. The reason my entire hand is in a cast is because I severed the flexor tendon AND the nerve in my pinky finger. But the muscle that controls the tendon (and movement) is in the wrist. Then the tendons extend from the wrists to the fingers. So in an effort to not do further damage AND to heal post surgery I can not move the wrist or my other4 fingers and engage that muscle. Pre-surgery it will cause the tendon to possibly continue falling further down my finger which will only increase the surgery incision. Post surgery it is important to continue to keep that wrist and fingers still because the newly repaired tendon will be tight and any wrist movement engages that muscle and increases the likelihood of retearing the tendon, which requires surgery again. Occupational therapy will strengthen the newly attached tendon and hopefully after 8-10 weeks the cast can come off.
So that is why I am losing use of my left hand. As for working out, the OT said 4 weeks MINIMUM off because this is major hand trauma that will be very swollen. Exercise and sweat will only increase the swelling. The hand also MUST be elevated at all times for at least those 4 weeks. Then she said, depending on my progress we “will see.” Hum. But I will be working out as soon as I am approved.
I have another doctor’s appointment today at 11:00am and AGAIN PLEASE PRAY THAT I CAN HAVE SURGERY ON FRIDAY INSTEAD OF MONDAY! The sooner the better!!
So let’s be real here. I am totally crushed. There, I am. I mean losing the use of my hand is tough. This entire post was written with one hand…see how much I love you guys. I kid. I kid. But really basic things we do everyday take 2 arms and I am definitely humbled. But stubborn and I have been driving Keith nuts by all the things I refuse to let him help me with. Also the not working out part is totally freaking me out. I will be 100% honest, I am terrified I am going balloon up and gain tons of weight. Now logically I know that is not true. I mean I eat really well and I know that is more than half the battle. But emotionally it is a different story. Emotionally I am scared. I guess it is just hard to accept that less than 3 months ago I was running 15 miles with ease and now I have a bum knee and no use of my left arm. I am just floored at how quickly things can change. It is truly humbling.
Thank you for letting me be honest and thank you for letting me express my fears and tell you my thoughts. I struggle with feeling selfish because I know so many people have it a lot worse than me. I know that. But sometimes I think everyone should be able to say, “THIS SUCKS.”
Okay guys…please just hope for another good appointment today and for surgery tomorrow. From everything I have heard this is going to get worse before it gets better. After surgery it is upposed to be pretty painful! But at least it is on the road to recovery….I will be back with updates. Love you guys!
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