Not Good Guys!

Well I met with the hand surgeon this morning and it aint pretty kids. I have severed the nerve that runs to the outside of the pinky and the tendon that controls movement of the pinky. I am going in for surgery Friday morning (hopefully, the doctor is trying to reaarange his schedule…if not then Monday) and will be going under general anesthesia! (SUCK) I will be out for most of the day. I will be in a cast for 8-10 weeks and will need physical therapy to teach the tendon how to operate again because right now I have a paralyzed pinky and it does nothing. So this is going to be quite the ordeal. This was/is major hand trauma.

I was fitted with my splint/cast this afternoon and have had the hand set.

I wish I could say that I have managed to put a positive Kelly spin on this but right now I don’t have anything but really read swollen eyes from a lot of crying. I mean a lot. I am in pain, I am frustrated, I am scared and I didn’t realize I was going to be a one-handed Kelly for 8-10 WEEKS! One hand! I can’t shower by myself, put a bra on even. I feel completely handicapped. Shit I am. Hell, I am typing this blog post with one hand!!!

As for working out…who knows. Definitely not for the first 14 days because I will have to keep the arm completely elevated for 2 weeks. Nice!! Then who knows….the Occupational Therapist said doubtful for at least 4 weeks. Brilliant! Just brilliant. Then as soon as this entire ordeal is over than I am going to be scheduling knee appointments to figure out what needs to be done to fix my meniscus. GOOD LORD! ENOUGH! REALLY! ENOUGH!

I definitely have a long and uphill battle in front of me, no doubt. But I guess I am going to have to deal with it as it comes. I have no idea how long it will take the incision to heal but I am hoping not too long and I plan to kick PT’s ass and have a fully functional hand in no time. (there it is…that Kelly spunk…I knew it was somewhere) I am also going to learn to be one hell of a one-handed chef!

I have another appointment with the doctor tomorrow at 11:00am to go over final steps and pray like hell that I can get into surgey for Friday!

I also will not be attending the Healthy Living Summit. For all you who are going next weekend…have a ball!

57 Responses

  1. kelly im so sorry again about your finger and all this bad news you just keep getting.

    heres an upside though, you have a wonderful husband who is willing to put your bra on for you and wash your hair and even more :)

  2. oh my gosh Kelly!! You poor thing!!! This setback happened for a reason….even though you are frustrated, maybe you will find a special talent that you didn’t know about (one-handed cooking???) I am so sorry to hear about all your troubles. I will pray that you get to have your surgery on Friday and pray that it goes well! Hang in there girl!!

  3. I’m prayin’ like hell, Kelly! It’s just out of control. You deserve time for a good cry…then you will be ready to fight right after surgery. In the meantime, maybe the rest will help your knee? Here’s hoping!

    Thinking about you lots…here for ya!

  4. While I don’t think my foot injury even compares to the severity of your hand injury, I can understand your frustration of being limited in what you’re able to do. It sucks. I will be praying for you and hope you can get into surgery on Friday. We’re all here for you!!

  5. Meh, this is not good…I can understand your frustration..and love the spunk ;-) ummm…honestly, I would beg the hubby to hire some help, even if it’s a neighborhood teen…haha. Geez :-( I bet you will get increasingly clever at being one-handed..and how on earth are you supposed to keep it elevated? What are you going to do, keep your arm in the air?! Ah, well…I am sure you will find a way. I’m sorry you’re going through this!!

  6. That really does suck, and you have every right to feel upset about it right now! Of course, this ordeal will pass, but for now, not fun.

    But please do give yourself a break and enjoy the time off from working out! Believe it or not, we all need that break once in a while (yes a real break, a month long break!), and you won’t lose all of your hard work in that time. I promise :)

  7. Aw Kelly, I am so so sorry. I know you will find a way to be positive because you are always. Let yourself cry and be sad for awhile, you are allowed!!! It will workout though, i know it will.

  8. Wow that really sucks! I really hope you can eat a burger one handed ;) Haha just trying to make you laugh!

  9. Kelly – BIG HUG!! This too shall pass. I can’t begin to think of how frustrated you must be, and it all happened so quickly. Isn’t that how it goes? Any trashy tv shows you need to catch up on? Will those brighten your day?

  10. Yikes this sounds awful! I broke my thumb a few years ago and I know you realize how much you need your non-dominant hand once you can’t use it! It sucks you can’t workout, but I’m sure your body will love the rest (even if your mind will go crazy!). And think how amazing it will feel to get back to your old self once all this is over!! I hope you can get into surgery on Friday so you can get better sooner :)!

  11. NOOOO I was really looking forward to meeting you!!! Oh wait that was selfish…what I really meant to say is NOOOOOOO THAT SUCKS MAJORLY!!!! You don’t need to be positive all the time, it’s ok. Shoot I’d be bawling my eyes out. But you’ll get through this, just like you get through everything else. Maybe you’ll find some really cool hobby you love while you’re cooped up? (Ok maybe that’s too optimistic…;)) I hate you’re going through all this- you are going to be an OT/PT champ!!!

  12. So sorry to hear about it. I hope the surgery goes with out a hitch and the pain is short lived. Hope you can work this time for some pampering of yourself – books (maybe on tape?) movies, dinners out and laundry help! It’s not very often you are utterly forced to take a break. Let folks help you! Hang in there -

  13. such a bummer girl…i know it’s hard, but keep your head up. everything happens for a reason, which is crappy to think about right now, but it’s true! thinking about you :)

  14. Kelly I am so incredibly sorry to hear this. I think it’s perfectly ok to not attempt to put any sort of spin on it happy or otherwise. You have every right to be down right pissed off. I wish I could give you a hug.

  15. Oh Kelly, I feel just awful for you! Know that you have our support!

  16. Kelly, I am so sorry for the outcome today! You are in our prayers. Keep the faith, and rest! ~ Try to take care…

  17. Oh Kelly! This just plain sucks.

    I have 2 things to say to you about this whole thing.

    The first – at least you have an excuse not to put a bra on. I basically only ever wear one to work. After that I set the girls free. Its not always classy, or attractive, but I dont care. :)

    Second, I think it might be helpful to you to know this.
    My dad was in a really bad car accident before I was born and his left arm was crushed. They were going to amputate it at the elbow because they said it would be useless, but my mom refused to let them. He has one tendon in his left hand that has been split between all his fingers. The doctors told him he would never be able to lift anything heavier than a pencil, and he would only ever have pinching type function. They were wrong, and now theres really nothing he cant do with it. I mean it wasnt easy, I’ve heard stories. It takes work, but what in life doesnt? You will get your full functioning hand/finger back, and it will just become a really good story to tell people for the rest of your life.

    • Leah, thanks for this. I really needed to hear that. I am pretty much crushed righ now but I hope that I have half the strength your dad did. Thank you.

  18. I assume the O.T. did the splinting for you, hey? Not fun stuff I am sure.

    I had an overwhelming day too. I find myself on my bed alot absolutely limp with exhaustion from stress and crying.

    But you are still strong and healthy Kelly! Still so strong and healthy. Lately, I have really been grateful just to be walking. Seriously — never thought that would be okay! So TRUST ME….u have A LOT….I know it seems downhill now cause to you, this kind of thing is a major blow and surprise…but it will pass and it will just be a thing of the past before u know it.

  19. Kelly, I am just speechless. Nothing I can say will even begin to make you feel better. I know things look bad right now, but they will get better. Seriously, I feel your pain more than you will ever know! These things are beyond frustrating for those of us that are active! It totally pisses you off too! I went months with having to have my legs shaved, my hair fixed (by my husband…god love him, but that was not the prettiest time of my life), I had a 1 year old and a 3 year old that I couldn’t do anything with. Life was not good. If you need anything at all, please let me know. I know I am far away, but I am always here to talk! Keep your chin up! Trust me, it is the only thing that will keep you sane! Big hugs coming your way!

  20. Oh my God Kelly – I can seriously only imagine what you must be going through – you have every right to cry and feel this way. It’s crazy because yesterday the focus was just on working out – and now, it’s actually realizing all the functional things you can’t do like dressing and stuff…I feel so bad for you.

    But you will pull through this. I know it. And I think that this is the break your body and knees will need and am certain you will be 100% stronger. I know it. I have so much faith in you.

    Devastating news is hard. A co-workers’ son just got in a horrible car accident and is now on life support.

    Shit happens doesn’t it? It’s awful. Life can turn on a dime.

    Just think – have you ever read Lance Armstrong’s “It’s not about the Bike” ? I highly recommend it. If he can endure all that he did and chemo and sickness… so many people.

  21. Oh Kelly, I am SO sorry you have to go through this:(. I can empathize on a much lesser level. A couple of years ago I got REALLY bad tendonitis in both of my arms, basically from my fingers up to my shoulders. It hurt to brush my teeth because of the fine motor movement required. I couldn’t even lift grocery bags so my poor husband had to grocery shop with me. I remember sitting on my couch crying, feeling so depressed b/c I couldn’t work out or really do much of anything! And I was in pain, so it was double the whammy!
    All I can say is to take one day at a time and hope that each day that passes gets you closer to recovery, healing and back to where you want to be.
    Again, I am soo sorry!!! I hope you feel better soon and I’ll pray for a speedy recovery!!

  22. I’m so sorry , that would be so frustrating. I hope you have those close to you that help you out.

  23. I’m really sorry, Kelly. I know you must feel terrible and scared. I know you will get through this though.

  24. oh kelly you will get through this……i had to have hand surgery once after a bad bike race accident and it did not look good. BUT i had a great surgeon and good PT and i am perfect now. it shot me down too for a while but when you look back on it competely healed it will just be a blip in time for you like it was for me. trust me you are strong you will get through this and come out stronger.

  25. Oh Kelly, I am so sorry :( I am sending all my positive thoughts your way! That is a serious cast you have already! Just think, after all of this you’ll be so much stronger and ready to take on anything. Virtual hug!

  26. I’m sorry to hear this news Kelly :(. Try to be positive. Will miss the opportunity to meet you at the Healthy Living Summit. But I completely understand.

  27. Oh my gosh!! I just read all your posts about your hand right now. I’m so so so sorry Kelly!! Please don’t apologize for not being positive. You have every right to be sad and down right now…. it definitely sounds like it’s been a rough summer for you. I’m sending tons of positive thoughts you were…I hope the hand surgeon does a really good job on your hand and I’m wishing you a quick recovery. I know your spunk and perseverance will get you through this!

  28. Think back to other tough things you have been through. Remember that you did make it through and grew in the process. You learned something and there is always some benefit to a struggle. Keep that in mind to help soften the blow of this right now. I’m praying for you!! And it’s okay to be frustrated, upset, hurt, and just plain MAD! But don’t ever lose sight that this is not the end.

  29. oh my gosh girl! i am a bit behind on my blog reading. i am so sorry to hear this. take good care of yourself. you can do this! i am sending you good vibes!

  30. I am so sorry. It just keeps piling on.

    I don’t know how much you believe in God, etc…but I really think this is God’s way of showing you and letting you know that some downtime in terms of exercise is needed for your body. Shitty way of trying to teach you , I know.

    But you can and will get through this and come out for the better. Let Keith take care fo you :)

  31. I know this isn’t what you want to hear because I would be miserable too but just think of all the people that are handicapped for life. They make it through and you will too!!! Hugs and kisses, beautiful! Love you!

  32. I am so, so sorry Kelly!!! I can’t even imagine how frustrated you are right now. I’m not going to try to make you feel better, because I know nothing I say will– sometimes, you just have to acknowledge that a situation SUCKS, and this one definitely does :-(

  33. *HUGS* I am so sorry! Hang in there and try to keep positive.

    I had to keep mine elevated for 2 weeks also. I was able to ride an exercise bike and walk only, and only inside. The heat outdoors made my hand swell too much. Those options may work if your Dr ok’s it. They had me strap my arm to the opposite shoulder with some sling thing when I was awake, that kept it elevated.

    Sleeping was HARD. I had to sleep with my arm in this “swiss cheese” looking contraption. Even then, sometimes i’d knock it over and wake up to a throbbing hand because the blood would rush to it. Found that sleeping on the couch was most comfortable, because I could wedge my arm in the contraption between me and the back of the couch.

    I mean it, if you need anything at all, just let me know. Or if you need someone to talk hands with ;-)

  34. Oh you poor thing! Blogging with ONE hand?! I’m impressed!!

    Hope it all goes well for you! Take some time for yourself and RELAX! :D

  35. oh my goodness you poor thing! I dont know how you are even being able to stand typing with one hand. I hope things get better for you doll!

    xo

  36. Wow, it sounds like you’re really getting a raw deal aren’t you? No one expects you to be positive all the time. This is just a rough patch, but there WILL be light on the other side. I agree with Megan above, take some time for yourself and relax! We’ll all be here supporting you. <3

  37. So sorry to hear about all of this! I know its easy to say “chin up”, “think happy thoughts”, but sometimes, you just need to let it out! Do whatever makes you feel better at the moment!

  38. I am so sorry to hear about your hand!!! I pray that it heals quickly!

  39. Aw Kelly I’m so sorry!!! That really sucks and must hurt too. I know how hard this will be both physically and mentally. Geez, life has the capacity to throw us such curveballs!! All we can do is roll with it and make the best of the situation. Bad things happen, but for the most part we do what we need to do and still come out better than we were on the other end.
    Maybe take this as a challenge to see what else interests you outside of working out. I know I go crazy when I can’t workout too, but that’s NOT healthy! I know that so much of how you have always defined yourself has been through running and exercise but I promise you, you are MUCH MUCH more than that. It will not change who you are or how much people love you or how happy you can be if you’re a little bit less in shape at the end of this. There’s so much you can do with all the free time now- get through all the books you’ve always wanted to read, take up painting, puzzles, walking around parks and taking pictures, study a language, volunteer somewhere, the list is endless!
    Also, I’ll be going to Austin sometime in the next 2 or 3 weeks, so we should get together for some cheer up Kelly time!

  40. Oh Kelly, you have been handed such a rough couple of months! I broke my hand in college and had to do everything (including typing final papers) with one hand. It sucked big time. You have every reason to be pissed off and upset, and then harness that energy to kick some major PT ass!

  41. I’d give you my pinky if I could.

    I am so so sorry. You are allowed and encouraged to be pissed off and to swear and to cry and whine all you want. email me and I will listen – I promise!

    Maybe since you can’t exercise for 4 weeks, your knee will magically get better? Grasping at straws here, but hey..

  42. Oh no!! Try to hang in there girl!! And it’s totally OK to cry your eyes out and be sad!! I had to go 2 months without any exercise and it is hard but you will be able to do it.
    I don’t have any words to comfort you but know that I will be thinking about you and sending you lot’s of love and positive energy.

  43. aw Kelly, I am so sorry, this is a bummer. Hang in there! My thoughts are with you!

  44. [...] Get Medical Posted on August 5, 2010 by Kelly Thank you for all the words of encouragement yesterday. It meant the world to me. Truly. I want to explain what medically is going on. The reason my entire [...]

  45. So sorry you’re going through this! But at least you have good blog material, right? :)

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